Lets get real. My pictures of the infinity pool over the coast of Mexico were beautiful, but they did not tell the whole story. Not even close. In fact, while the trip was incredibly planned, I did not find it relaxing at all. This is because I suffer from anxiety, and when traveling with 32 family members it is hard to escape it. This post is about some things I did to help myself cope, as well as what I wish I did differently.
What I Did Well
Finding My Own Space.
It took me awhile to find a space in the grand house we were staying in that was not crawling with people. I was sleeping in the den with seven of my cousins so my bed was not a safe escape area for me. I often went to my parents room to nap, shower, or just ground myself for a minute.
While sneaking away to your own space seems obvious, it’s hard! I am constantly anxious around people, yet worried of what they will think when I leave. It often felt like I was hiding. Especially from the younger kids, who did not understand what I was going through or why I needed a break. It is totally understandable that 10 year olds don’t know why I need quiet time, but this lack of understanding ended up putting some guilt on me. However, I needed to do it and so I was exercising my New Years Resolution “do what you need to do to be happy” even if people didn’t understand.
Do What I Need To Do
“Headphones in, world out”. This quote is all over pinterest and is no joke. When I travel, that’s how I am. I like to put my headphones in and do my own thing without talking to anyone. Traveling with 32 people didn’t really allow for that. We are all a team and when one person ran into a problem, we all did. Since I am 19 and experienced with traveling on my own, I would put my headphones and walk with the group, but did not feel an intense need to stick with everyone. My goal was to get to where I needed to be. I am only responsible for myself. With that said, headphones can only block out so many distractions and did not completely ease my anxiety on travel day.
Be Only Responsible for Myself
Oh man it is so hard to not take on everyone else’s responsibilities. I found that I was often packing things for other people, planning things for others, etc. because I love to do it. I love to plan. However, then I can’t be upset when my plans don’t work out the way I want to. I had to stop planning things and helping others because I would get too frustrated if things aren’t perfect. It sounds silly, but that’s anxiety for you.
Get My Medicine
On the first day I got to Mexico I immediately realized I didn’t have enough of my anxiety medication. Can you imagine the spiral that could have sent me into?? But I didn’t let it! I called my psychiatrist’s emergency line and tried to get a prescription sent to my cousin who was arriving a few days late. I was having to call my doctor on a freaking boat in the middle of the ocean leaving voicemails. It was miserable and so stressful. And after all of that work, it didn’t work out. Luckily, we had guides from La Paz who were able to fluently communicate with the pharmacists in Mexico to get it for me. It was kind of a nightmare but at the same time a miracle because they had my medication and sold it to me no prescription needed! Take note of that for your next trip if you find yourself in that same emergency situation. I like to believe I handled this situation very maturely and calmly, or at least the best I could. I did not let it destroy me like it could have.
Be Prepared for Everything
Know that someone is going to forget something. Kids will be screaming. The van will pop a tire and the drive will be twice as long. Be prepared. I never left the house without a full water bottle, sunscreen, pen, headphones, advil, pepto, sweatshirt, and at least 2 snacks. The pepto and headphones came in handy so many times I can’t even count. Travel aside, you need to be prepared for whatever the living conditions are too. I am not a very flexible person so I had to really prepare so that I felt a sense of control no matter what my situation was. To me this looked like: eyemask, extra long charger, earplugs and sweatpants in case it’s cold.
What I Would Change
Travel a Day Early! Or Late!
Traveling on a different day would have honestly made a world of a difference for me. A 10 hour travel day to an international destination with 32 people really triggered my anxiety. I think that I let it get the best of me and start the trip off on the wrong note. I felt exhausted and in need of space away from family after only one day, with 10 full days ahead of me. On our next family reunion trip I will definitely be traveling separately because it is an easy fix that will make a world of a difference.
Know the Family Limits
My family really wanted to all be in the same house because then we would be in common areas just hanging out during the off time, promoting bonding. The idea is great, but as many of the kids get older it gets much harder. While I was probably more anxious than others, I wasn’t the only person who needed their own space. However, there are not many houses on the rental market that can accommodate to this haha. Sometimes you have to be willing to give up the family bonding living room moments and expand to multiple houses next door to each other, hotels, or condos so that people are able to live comfortably.
Shorten the Trip
The trip doesn’t have to be shortened for everyone, but if you know that your anxiety will really be triggered, don’t stay for the whole trip. The purpose of a vacation is to relax, not to be in constant distress. If that means being on the trip for seven days instead of 10 so be it.
I hope you find this post helpful, I wish I would have read something like this prior to my trip. Best wishes and safe travels!
Sincerely, Meghan Ann
